Barbara’s brother Adam died on Saturday. She’ll by flying back to Scotland on Wednesday for his funeral, which is on Friday, then back to Ibiza on Saturday. Although I want to be in Edinburgh with Barbara, if my health took a turn I’d be more of a hindrance than a help.
Added 3 November 2013: We’d only known about Adam’s illness since he phoned a couple of days after I finished my radiotherapy in August, even though his cancer had been diagnosed about the same time as mine. But there’d been an agreement in Barbara’s family not to say anything until my treatment had concluded. Generally I don’t like secrets, but on this occasion it was probably the best way to respond. If Barbara had known she couldn’t have done anything as she was stuck looking after me, which would have made me feel guilty.
On the other hand, I would probably have told people in the same circumstances. It’s horribly complicated when different people know different things. But I don’t know how I’d respond if I was told my cancer was inoperable, as Adam was. It’s impossible to say.